Skip to main content

Day 52: Look at the Moon

I’ve mentioned that I was flu tested. The results of that terrible experience were conclusive: I did not have the flu. The virus I did have coursed through my sick bloodstream, wreaking havoc and playing peek-a-boo with my immune system for five days.

It drained my reserves down pretty low. My body felt broken. My hope was waning. I remember Wednesday morning Amazewife asked how I was feeling when I woke up. She punctuated her question with a smile, for the fourth day in a row. The children were hanging off of her like parasitic apes. They were at volume level 10. Even the baby was going Godzilla on our room.

I felt my lip quiver and didn’t answer her right away.

The sicknesses subsided later that Wednesday. Friday was my first day back to deliveries. I got to job #1 and things went well. My coworker was helpful and we were in good shape, but I still felt overwhelmed. There were things that needed to be done. I needed to deliver pizzas, so I scheduled time Saturday while Meredith was at Boys Town and left.

I was three quarters of the way to the pizza restaurant. I took off my beanie and started to pray. I thanked Him for a lot of things. I told Him how drained I felt. Then, for some reason, I asked to be more grateful.

I grimaced. But the words had already flown.

“I know,” I began again, “that asking for more gratitude usually means trouble. You’ll take things away or make things a bit harder to try your children into gratitude. But whatever it takes, I’ll do my best,” I said.

Deliveries were steady. I was not. I wobbled on occasion. I had to take it slow and remind myself to take one step at a time.

Night fell. I got a call to deliver out to Little Provo. That’s the name I’ve given Village Green due to the sheer quantity of Mormons that live there. Nice guy. Cute little daughter. Texas driver’s license. He had paid with a card. I took my clipboard from him after he signed, gave him his food and wished him a good evening.

I checked the receipt on my way to the car. He had tipped.

“Thanks bud,” I whispered. I continued my slow steps. Then I had a thought. Why am I thanking him? He’s in his house and can’t hear me.

So, I raised my eyes to the sky.

“Thank you,” I said.

Thank you, I thought again.

The moon was bright. There was no cloud cover over me. I remember thinking how surprised I was that the moon was up there.

Then, there was a flood. In the split second it took me to glance up, I thought about the moon up there so bright. Then another thought pushed its way in. God was up there.

The instant that I reminded myself of that fact, something came over me. It was like God peeled back the sky, and whispered, “You’re right, you know.”

Then He put a hand on something. It was my heart. Or my mind. Maybe it was my feverish capillaries just below the tear glands. Or maybe he put His hand on my burdens. I don’t know. But I knew He was there.

Then, at that moment, I knew gratitude. The warmest, most tender feelings of gratitude flooded my heart and mind. It lifted my spirits. It pushed out so many other things. I remember having a Pepsi in the car. All desires to drink it left. All I wanted was water. And to smile. That sensation filled me to the top and pushed out my toxic self-images.

“I’m going to write this down!” I said to myself. I wanted to record it in the digital tables of the internet and the fleshy tables of my heart. I told myself I would use it to remember the feeling, so that I could use gratitude to help me be a better man.

My point is, life is hard. Getting out of debt is hard. Being human is hard. Being God’s kid is hard. Don’t you think? It’s hard. And He doesn’t take it easy on us. Not always. Friday night was an exception I will cherish. In His way, He told me that this one was on Him. He just handed me gratitude and let me take it easy.

He lives, y’all. He owns us. He owns everything. Money is His. We’re just stewards. Our kids are His. We’re just stewards. The Moon is His. And the Earth is His footstool. But I’ll never forget how He opened up that moon to my view, and took care of me, just another delivery driver in a crazy, fat country weighed down under bone-crushing debt. And it was intense.

ROE INTENSE

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5 Things Every Pizza Delivery Driver Needs for Success

Updated: 2/1/2016.

“How many times has Dave Ramsey said, ‘Deliver pizzas’?” Said someone on the Dave Ramsey forums.The answer is: lots.I hear it often when I listen to his show. That and ‘sell the car.’ (Car payments KILL people’s wealth-building income every month. )Since first posting this list back in December of 2014, I’ve heard great, quality responses and suggestions. The original list of five things has been updated as follows:A kit for receipt convenienceA fuel efficient car with an accurate GPSA need for speedThe “Wow!” extrasA smileThese tips apply no matter what company you drive for. (No pun intended.)Let’s learn something.1. You need a kit for receipt convenienceDon’t underestimate the power of a simple receipt kit. It is as follows:A clipboard. A suitable pen for your clipboard. A cheap, small flashlight with a clamp or a tether.A clipboard and pen are must-haves. It is easier on you. It is easier on them. Not having one demands more of a hungry customer than is necessa…

We're debt free.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are debt free.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving.Wanted to talk about being a turkey today. But first, here's a recap of the Baby Steps used in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.Baby Step 1: $1,000 cash in a beginner emergency fundBaby Step 2: Use the debt snowball to pay off all your debt but the houseBaby Step 3: A fully funded emergency fund of 3 to 6 months of expensesBaby Step 4: Invest 15% of your household income into retirementBaby Step 5: Start saving for collegeBaby Step 6: Pay off your home earlyBaby Step 7: Build wealth and give generouslySo we're on step 3. How's it going?It's not.What we're doing now is akin to what happened a lot between baby steps 1 and 2: Save up your $1,000 emergency fundHave an emergencyRepeatExcept we haven't had emergencies. We maintain the $1,000 EF month to month and manage other storms. We've had to repair some vehicles, sure. We also have more income now than we did. We were forking over hundreds to creditors not long ago. Now we can …