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Showing posts from March, 2015

I deliver pizza. Cats steal pizza.

Did they wash with soap after using the litter box? The sign at my pizza store says that 1,000,000,000,000 (trillion) germs can live in a gram of fecal matter. Guess I should go to Congress and find out why Feline hygiene education has heretofore gone unfunded.Watch these fuzzy felines fulfill the measure of their creation and get into stuff they shouldn’t.

Deliveries from March 24 - History Lessons

I deleted my pizza tracking spreadsheet on the third-to-the-last day of January. Poof. Gone. Fellow geeks, fear not, I did everything I could to recover it. Which is a lot. I did not lose my geek card while attempting file recovery. It’s gone.Before we move on, here’s a grammar lesson: ‘alot’ does not exist. My blog editing software proved it just now. It auto-corrected my ‘alot’ twice before leaving an angry squiggly. Here’s proof in screenshot form:But if you want a good laugh, Google it. I stepped in from a delivery at around 10 PM. I put my pizza bag where it belonged. I folded the other bags and stacked them. Tock was talking to a manger. He has gone two weeks now without a cigarette, even longer without marijuana. I congratulated Tock from outside his conversation as I folded and he stepped into the back.I finished folding and left the delivery staging area. I unzipped my sweater, hung it up, then looked down to the pockets of my apron to make sure I had my phone. I saw my expan…

A Review of Dave Ramsey’s New Budget Tool ‘EveryDollar’

Dave Ramsey has produced an amazing product to bring the world of Zero Based Budgeting to the Nerds and Free Spirits of the world. If there ever was a digital tool that could help get the earnest seeker of financial freedom to rock solid financial stewardship, this is it. I mean it. EveryDollar is amazing. Amazewife and I received an invitation to join the site since we are paying members of the MyTotalMoneyMakeover tool. We jumped on it. It was a 90 day free trial of the EveryDollar Plus.Now, it’s not perfect. It has its cons, which I will review in brief. The important thing is for you to know how great I think this tool is. (By the way, I am doing this review on my own. I have not gone into cahoots with DR. I am not being paid. I really do believe in this.)The Pros and Cons (In Brief)Pros: It is gorgeous, with plenty of white space. It is easy to read and very smooth. I think Apple nuts will be proud. It is automated. Heavily. I love being able to say that my “Tires and Repairs” bu…

Head Scratchin’

The sun rose earlier yesterday thanks to some dudes that thought Daylight Savings was a good idea. Seriously. They were all dudes. If they had been women, we’d all be planning Daylight Savings further in advance, complaining less about it and making sure to mark the event with a gift of some kind. The forecast for tonight: seventy-warm-something degrees with winds like a whisper out of somewhere between Beautiful and Almost Perfect. I went out and looked for fish over lunch at Job #1. And I did so WITHOUT A COAT. It was glorious.  I prepared myself for a night of gorgeous weather delivering pizza.My five-month average for Tuesday nights falls right around $40 earned. Some are better. Some are worse. This particular Tuesday was a ‘better’, but with a plot twist.I left for a delivery, came back, and left again. Deliveries were always ready.  Cooks were either smoking cigarettes outside or cutting pizzas. Other drivers were never there. They were out on their own deliveries. I averaged t…

The Trained Response

The young woman answered the door. She was in her mid-twenties. She wore sweat pants and a long sleeve shirt. The night wasn’t cold. It wasn’t warm either. If Nebraska were a youth dance, Spring would be asking Winter to go with him. It would be over the phone, not in person. And only after delivering a picture of Winter that took Spring like three hours to finish the shading on her upper lip. Winter said yes after her mother, Fall, forced her. “You are GOING with that boy.”She hasn’t ditched Spring to dance with her ice-queen friends yet, but it’s only March 8. Anyway, I handed over the pizza. She handed me back the clipboard. It was time to go. I began to turn away.With honesty and sincere sentiment, I said, “Enjoy your pizza!”“You, too!” she said as she shut the door. Me, too? Me, too, what? Me, too, enjoy the pizza? What pizza? There is no pizza. What pizza would I enjoy in this situation? Mmmmm, pizza.Thus was the conversation in my head as I walked away. This happens all the tim…