Skip to main content

The Tale of the Fleeing Dollar

A hard wind kicked up last week somewhere in Colorado. It blew East and swung across Kansas. The stay in Kansas was short. There wasn’t much there. It was flat. And had some corn. That and piles of birds, dead for want of a single tree. Apparently there was too much of one of those three because a huge fire was started.

After picking up terrible, billowing smoke from those short-sighted ag fires, the wind swung North through Lincoln and smacked right into Omaha. It only ever hit 40 mph, so it never had to stop. Nebraska State Patrol has bigger fish to fry.

I started my deliveries when it arrived. My 3-and-5/16ths cylinders of raw Taurus power putted north on 15th street. Every time I hit a four-way intersection, I felt the chassis of the car lift on the left side. I’d move through the intersection and the houses on the left of me would break the wind.

Like windbreakers. You’re so immature.

Anyway, I pulled into the Pine Street towers and parked. The way the building was situated sped up the wind as it tore across the parking lot. The car door was a beast to open. I climbed out and held the pizza bag with two hands.

Just so you know, pizza bags can make pizza men and women float away like the nannies in Mary Poppins. It’s intense.

clip_image001
I had already called the customer. They were waiting in the lobby. I walked in, handed over the food and took their money. It was a hodge-podge of cash, made up of a ten, a couple fives, and a single dollar bill.

Getting the money into my apron had been difficult because of the wind and my jacket. I stepped out into the wind mid-attempt. The dollar saw its chance and jumped.

“No,” I shouted. Time slowed as the dollar began to fly. I did quick calculations:

Wind Speed: 1,000,000 mph
Dollar Trajectory: E-NE
Dollar Speed: Irrelevant
Kind of shape my legs are in: Nerd Level EXTREME

The calculations were depressing, so I let instinct kick in. I stomped. Missed. The dollar blew a few more feet. I stomped with the other foot. Missed. And again.

“George. Come back here, George,” I shouted.

I stomped, then missed, each time traveling another pace. I had to sprint during a particularly fast gust. Then the stomping resumed.

The wind was messing with me. People had to have been watching. And there I was: a bone-white, red-haired pizza guy doing some sick version of Whip Nae Nae while yelling at the ground.

The wind mercifully took the dollar behind a fence. The dollar lost its wings. I picked it up and held it between my thumb and forefinger. I felt like the Abominable Snowman after it grabbed its ‘snow rabbit.’

I pocketed the dollar and went about my business with more care.

Yeah, it was windy. Could have done a better job getting that money tucked away. Remember folks: If we don’t tell our money where to go, we’ll end up wondering where it went. In particular when life’s wind picks up.


ROE INTENSE

Comments

  1. this made me chuckle, nice way to prove a point. btw thanks for the pizza.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey no prob! Thanks for visiting the site!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5 Things Every Pizza Delivery Driver Needs for Success

Updated: 2/1/2016.

“How many times has Dave Ramsey said, ‘Deliver pizzas’?” Said someone on the Dave Ramsey forums.The answer is: lots.I hear it often when I listen to his show. That and ‘sell the car.’ (Car payments KILL people’s wealth-building income every month. )Since first posting this list back in December of 2014, I’ve heard great, quality responses and suggestions. The original list of five things has been updated as follows:A kit for receipt convenienceA fuel efficient car with an accurate GPSA need for speedThe “Wow!” extrasA smileThese tips apply no matter what company you drive for. (No pun intended.)Let’s learn something.1. You need a kit for receipt convenienceDon’t underestimate the power of a simple receipt kit. It is as follows:A clipboard. A suitable pen for your clipboard. A cheap, small flashlight with a clamp or a tether.A clipboard and pen are must-haves. It is easier on you. It is easier on them. Not having one demands more of a hungry customer than is necessa…

We're debt free.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are debt free.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving.Wanted to talk about being a turkey today. But first, here's a recap of the Baby Steps used in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.Baby Step 1: $1,000 cash in a beginner emergency fundBaby Step 2: Use the debt snowball to pay off all your debt but the houseBaby Step 3: A fully funded emergency fund of 3 to 6 months of expensesBaby Step 4: Invest 15% of your household income into retirementBaby Step 5: Start saving for collegeBaby Step 6: Pay off your home earlyBaby Step 7: Build wealth and give generouslySo we're on step 3. How's it going?It's not.What we're doing now is akin to what happened a lot between baby steps 1 and 2: Save up your $1,000 emergency fundHave an emergencyRepeatExcept we haven't had emergencies. We maintain the $1,000 EF month to month and manage other storms. We've had to repair some vehicles, sure. We also have more income now than we did. We were forking over hundreds to creditors not long ago. Now we can …